Over-Protective Mom Confession

Reasoned about parenting and fear management for 20 seconds
Being a mom brings out the absolute “protect and preserve” gene in all of us, which can be a great thing. But it can also be a not-so-great thing. Case in point: my need to over-protect and preserve my young son at all costs. Admittedly, this need was born out of concern because the little guy had received four concussions before he was five years old. Yeah, I know—you’re wondering, “How does that even happen?” Well, it happens when your son is “all boy” and busy, busy, busy—which, by the way, pretty much all boys are!

Due to his toddler-year mishaps, I ended up being one of “those moms” who constantly chided my son to “be careful” and “don’t do that” more than I should have. Can you relate? Then I read a couple of books about boys and the way God designed them to be conquerors and adventurers. I was immensely convicted that I was not allowing my son to be a boy the way God intended him to be—adventurous, explorative, daring, and delightfully dirty!

Through much prayer and heart analysis, I also realized I was living in fear of what could happen. God clearly made me see that my role as a mom was not to protect out of fear, but to guide out of love. Once I learn a lesson, I’m pretty good at adjusting, adapting, and doing an about-face—my hubby tells me that’s the “black and white” part of my personality!

Once I figured out I needed to allow my son to unabashedly be “all boy,” our camping trips got a lot messier. We took up hatchet throwing, and he got a pocket knife. He soon started going to Father/Son camp at Pine Cove, where he climbed telephone pole rope courses and swung on swings that are 50 feet high. That was also about the time we got a dirt bike, followed by a go-cart, and his favorite thing has always been to tromp through the woods and go snake hunting with his buddies!

And wouldn’t you know it, at 15, he is as active, outdoor-centric, mud-covered, and messy as a guy can be! Around our home, if he returns from one of his jaunts with an injury, his older sister can be heard yelling, “Rub some dirt in it!” For the record…she gets just as dirty as he does in her work with horses, and she’s even been known to tag along with him and his buddies on outdoor adventures. Just this past weekend, she was with three friends on a 14-hour trail ride!

My point here, moms, is don’t let your own fear keep your children from being the kids God has designed them to be. I shudder to think about the “all boy” in my son that I spent a couple of years trying to get him to deny because of my fear of him getting hurt. So listen up, moms—I would suggest you pay attention to what your children enjoy and how they are wired, and support them fully in whatever way God has made their little selves! Even if that means a trip or two to the emergency room for stitches!

{Originally published in 2011}